Unrequited Love
by AnonymousBuono
Summary: Late at night, Utau lays awake in bed, comparing her unrequited love for Kukai to her unrequited love for Ikuto. Wondering how her love for a mere kid could work out any better than her brother complex.


Setting: 9 months after Shugo Chara! Party

Character(s): Utau Hoshina

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 **We are Buono!** : _Unrequited Love. (カタオモイ。)_

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Utau lay on her bed, going through the dozens upon dozens of unsent text messages on her phone. It was late at night, and only a few days after Christmas. Il and El were fast asleep.

Like Utau should've been.

But no, instead she was wide awake, brooding over her unrequited love.

At first, she hadn't felt anything, for either of them.

But then, the family drama happened, Utau was dumped at Tadase's, and she started clinging to her brother.

For the other one, it'd started on White Day, after a talk with Amu that Tadase and that kid had crashed. They'd gone out for their first ramen competition and things slowly developed from there, as she slowly started to cling less to her brother. Soon enough, Utau had found herself always following that kid with her eyes.

It was vexing. Had she really developed a crush on Kukai "basically a little kid" Soma? And it'd happened so gradually since White Day that she hadn't even noticed that she'd warmed up to the kid until after a few ramen competitions.

It had gotten to the point where her brother complex had turned into a normal adoration and admiration of her brother, and a love for the violinist that was purely familial. Now, she could look back on her antics, and laugh.

What has become of her?

She used to have fantasies of her hero in a white shirt with hair messy from sleeping. Underneath his sullen expression, his eyes had still remained firmly loyal to all that he loved... in a platonic way. She couldn't stop the delusions... Until Kukai came along and changed it all.

The unsent text messages on her phone? All of them had been intended for her brother, confessions of unrequited love unsent.

There were a few recent ones for Kukai, too. Of course, this was because he'd stopped answering his texts after his bike fell in the river two days ago. So she simply hadn't bothered sending the texts after a while, figuring that it was useless.

Of course, the fact that some of the texts had been about her strange new crush on the kid didn't have anything to do with her decision to not send those texts... Or, at least this was what she told herself.

Utau sighed and dropped her phone on the bed, and instead looked out the window at the winter constellations in the night sky.

It was strange how constellations were just stars that're billions of miles apart that were strung together in a connect-the-dots fashion by people.

Utau gazed over some of the few constellations that could be seen in the Tokyo sky, absentmindedly wondering if her sighs could be connected in the same way if she did it enough... If she had unrequited love enough times.

She'd already had this predicament twice now, and it was always painful. No matter how many times she denied it or secretly called out his name, it would never reach him.

Wasn't this what it meant to have an unrequited love?

While she'd expressed her emotions shamelessly for her brother, she now felt an urge to do the exact opposite for her new feelings for that kid.

So, naturally, she hadn't told any of her friends at school, work, or otherwise. It'd be too surprising if it got out, though some of Amu's friends were already speculating.

The walk back home from work had been painful if for no other reason than for the fact that she was seemingly in too deep with these new feelings for that kid.

On days where his soccer practice and her work happened to end on the same day, they'd stop for a ramen competition and then walk home together. At those times she acted so tsundere yet yearned for him so much on the inside that it made her sick.

Yet, today they hadn't met up, and he wasn't responding to her messages, so Utau had taken the walk alone.

If they'd been alone together, Utau wouldn't have known what to say. What could she say? That she had a crush on him, but was too embarrassed and prideful to admit it? That the kid wouldn't return her feelings, just like her brother?

The fact that Kukai hadn't even responded to her texts in two days, and the fact that she'd even had a few unsent ones intended for him, all meant that it'd be that much more awkward when they did finally meet up again.

Her feelings have had time to fester, and she knew that just looking at him again would make her become more greedy that her heart would burst.

Kind of like what happened with Ikuto, only it would be let out all at once at the wrong time instead of steadily.

But, what gave her hope for this working out what that, despite her brooding, she wasn't becoming obsessed with her new crush on Kukai. She could carry on with work and school and not think of the kid until she was done.

THEN she'd brood.

It wasn't an unhealthy complex, and that was relieving.

But, really, that was all that was going for this.

Sure, the kid was always trying to get her to smile, but would he actually return her feelings? Was he mature enough for that?

Utau sighed and looked away from the window, reaching over for her phone again and looked over through her pictures instead of the unsent texts. She stopped at one of the guardians, Kukai, Utau, and Sanjo-san's younger brother. They'd all been at an amusement park about 9 months back. Utau, Kukai, and Sanjo-kun had crashed the guardians' trip to the amusement park, and it'd been a ton fun.

The pop-star groaned at the sigh of the picture, and shut her phone off, and put it on her nightstand. In the picture, she'd been playfully glaring at Kukai, and he'd been smiling at the camera. Looking at it now almost made a tear come to her eye, would they ever have a relationship that extended beyond ramen?

Utau wasn't so sure. Between his child-like and cheerful behavior, and how they seemed to be apart, it didn't seem possible.

Back when she'd been a part of Easter, sure, he'd been a part of the guardians, but she'd barely known his name back then.

It wasn't until the ramen competitions that he'd barged into her life, and she'd somehow developed these feelings.

It made her wish she hadn't grown out of her brother complex sometimes.

But, no matter how many time she looked back, it would've never reach him.

Never.

But, unlike her brother, perhaps things would work out with the kid... Maybe he would turn out to be less of a kid than she'd thought, and they could actually give a relationship a shot.

For now, she'd hold herself back, because he was a kid and he would never understand.

But, someday, she'd sent it out to him... When he's ready to receive it.

Utau moved to bury her pajama-clad body under the sheets and finally get to sleep, firmly making this last thought her ultimatum.

... Unaware that a kiss on a kiddie swing-set a mere day later would be the catalyst for their requited love.


End file.
